cracked & called

broken is beautiful

Once upon a time, in a not-so-distant place, I received a call.
The place: St. Clair Shores Assembly of God.
The occasion: an evening service (back when those were still a thing!) dedicated entirely to the youth.

You might be wondering—why was I even there? I was serving as a youth leader at the time.

At the end of the service, the youth pastor invited anyone who felt called to ministry to come forward. And there I sat, wrestling with the strong tug in my heart to respond… even though I clearly wasn’t one of the youth. So, of course, I stayed in my seat, watching as students went forward.

What a night.

But for me, it didn’t end there. That night was filled with questions:
How could I be sure I heard Him calling me? Why would God speak to me during a service meant for teenagers? And if I didn’t respond, had I somehow disqualified myself?

Later that evening, still questioning everything, I turned on the TV. There she was—Joyce Meyer—sharing about her own calling into ministry. Her words pierced through my doubt, but still… I wanted more confirmation. I wanted to be sure.

And wouldn’t you know it? I received another call—this time, a literal one. (Yes, on an answering machine… it really was that long ago!)

How could I be sure I heard Him calling me?

It was a dear friend from church, someone well-respected and on staff, asking to meet. She said the Lord had told her to give me something. When we met, she handed me a retractable pointer—the kind a teacher would use in front of a classroom.

Then she shared this Scripture:

“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers…”
— 1 Corinthians 12:27–28 (NIV)

But that wasn’t the end of God’s confirmation.

A few days later, another message was waiting for me—this time from my daughter’s pastor in California. He was inviting me to be the main speaker at an upcoming youth retreat.

What?! Not only had God called me—He showed me how I’d minister and where it would begin!

Of course, I tried to argue. “Lord, we can’t afford this trip.” But then the phone rang again. I was told that every expense would be covered. Argument over. I said yes.

That retreat would be the start of my teaching ministry, using the book Transformed Temperaments by Tim LaHaye. It opened my eyes to the way God reshapes our personalities and uses even our cracks to bring Him glory.

Cracked.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.”
— Psalm 51:17 (NIV)

In a season of deep depression and brokenness, this verse became my lifeline. It reminded me that God values what the world often overlooks—a broken and contrite heart. My brokenness didn’t disqualify me from serving Him. It qualified me.

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.”
— Psalm 51:12–13 (NIV)

God values what the world often overlooks—a broken and contrite heart. My brokenness didn’t disqualify me from serving Him. It qualified me.

We all have moments when we feel unqualified, inadequate, or too cracked to be useful. But it’s when we bring our brokenness to the One who restores that we become teachable—and in turn, able to teach.

“For God’s gifts and his call can never be withdrawn.”
— Romans 11:29 (NLT)

Our cracks don’t make us unusable. They make us approachable. People can see God’s light shining through them—and He uses that to build community and bring healing.

So be encouraged, friend. God calls the cracked.

“…let us hold firmly to what we believe.
This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses,
for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.
So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.
There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”
— Hebrews 4:15–16 (NLT)

And then? Go share your story. Because someone else’s healing might just begin when they see how God is working through your cracks.