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Written By Debora Ayala-Chavez

The Friends Who Know Your Weakness

It was my first year at Texas State. I was very much the little fish in a big pond. I was so excited to be on a new campus and get the college experience. I was so ready to join a club or group so I could meet the life long friends everyone told me I’d make in college. I got a flyer for a cute, all girl organization and I was sold!

I looked it up and realized in order to be part of this group, there was an interview process. Of course, now, years later, I think it’s such an odd thing to have to interview to make potential friends but I was desperate to find friends and fit in, so I applied and went to the interview. The girls were polite but it was very much a popularity contest and you were heavily judged from the moment you walked in. The following week I received my “we regret to inform you” email letting me know I couldn’t be their friend! My young 20 year old self was really sad and disappointed, I really thought those girls would be my forever friends, future bridesmaids, godmothers to my future children and everything in between. (Fun fact: I don’t even remember any of their names!)

I remember texting my friend and sharing with her how disappointed I was and she told me something that has stuck with me for over 10 years. She said “oh friend, your acceptance was won 2,000 years ago”. And wow, was she right! I didn’t need to gain my acceptance because Jesus had already done that for me. And although dying on a cross is a very high standard for showing love to others, (John 15:13) I knew my friendships needed to be ones that would draw me closer to Him.

Your aceptance was won 2,000 years ago.

I needed friendships who could see me at my worst and still be willing to break through a roof to get me closer to Jesus. (Luke 5:18-20) Since then, God has sent me some wonderful “roof breaking” friendships that pray for and over me, challenge me, hold me accountable, and always lead me back to Him. (James 5:16) I no longer feel pressured to feel “made up” for a friendship or that I’m interviewing for the part. They see the wins, the lows, the tears, the cheering and everything in between and we hold each other up when our legs fail us. (Proverbs 27:17) But I’ve also learned you need to be a good friend to have a good friend. You must also be willing to get your friend closer to Jesus even in seasons of trouble. (Proverbs 17:17)

If you have a good, Godly friendship or two (or more!), pray for them, love them, lean on them, and encourage them! And if you desire a “roof breaking” friendship, I want to challenge you to pray and ask the Lord for this friendship, join a small group at your church or attend a women’s event. You never know who is also needing someone to get them closer to Jesus! Be encouraged, friend, we are not meant to do this life alone!

Debora Ayala-Chavez

Debora is a full-time working wife and mama who believes her first and most sacred ministry is within the four walls of her home. She currently works in operations for a wealth management company, balancing her corporate role with early mornings, packed lunches, and after-dinner dishes. Though she dreams of one day stepping into homeschooling and ministry full-time, she is faithfully showing up in the season God has placed her in, trusting that He is writing something beautiful in the waiting.

Writing has been a part of Debora’s life since elementary school, and journaling for the past ten years has helped her see God’s faithfulness across every season. Whether she is folding laundry, wiping counters, or whispering prayers over her family, she feels closest to God in the small, often unseen spaces. Her favorite verse, Esther 4:14, reminds her that even now, she is where she is for a reason.

When she is not chasing after her superhero-cape-wearing three-year-old or binge-watching competition shows with her husband, you can find Debora trying new recipes (she is currently learning to bake bread), doting on her cat, or strolling the aisles of Target. Her hope through every word she writes is that someone would feel seen and deeply loved by God, even in the middle of heartbreak, and remember that they too were created for such a time as this.

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