what i know about flourishing

A personal reflection on what it really means to thrive with Jesus

I cannot say for certain, but I would guess my first Sunday in church was before I was a week old. My parents dedicated me to the Lord before I was a year old. Church was a such a regular part of my life growing up that we never missed a service. And I mean never! I remember spending Sundays when I was sick hiding away in my father’s office because no one could stay home with me. At least 3 times a week - Sunday morning and night, Wednesday night - I could be found in church. And that doesn’t include any weeks with special services, which were innumerable. 

Some families produce generations of farmers or doctors or tradesmen. Mine reproduces deacons and preachers. My paternal grandfather planted a church in the middle of Amish country. My maternal grandfather taught Sunday school more times than anyone I know. My dad is a pastor. My brother is a pastor. Two of my uncles - pastors. Oh yea, and for fifteen years my husband was a pastor.

None of this is shared in pride or arrogance. I share this to give you context to my life, and ultimately, my journey with the Lord. Because I have spent so much of my life surrounded by a community of faith, living in a family whose livelihood was built upon the community of faith, my perspective is somewhat biased. I admit that openly. And if you’ll stick with me, I pray that understanding my journey from my beginning might help you see yours in a new light.

I never missed a church service growing up.

The author of the Hebrew epistle charged their audience with these words regarding spiritual maturity (Hebrews 5:11-14):

“There is much more we would like to say about this, but it is difficult to explain, especially since you are spiritually dull and don’t seem to listen. You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word.You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.”

When I was teaching our church’s Junior high students on Sunday mornings, this was one of my deepest desires for my students: to help them gain a deeper sense of responsibility for their relationship with Jesus. It was theirs to own. Many of them, similar to me, had grown up in church. That’s often the toughest crowd. 

See, I grew up riding the coattails of my parents’ salvation and spiritual journey. I knew Jesus, but I knew him distantly, through them. I was an acquaintance - a friend of a friend, if you will. I was, in essence, living as a spiritual infant. Milk was easy. It didn’t require much work to find or consume or digest. And it kept me just comfortable enough to “feel saved”, but I was producing no fruit.

That’s the thing about milk. It serves an important part of the growth process, but eventually, a baby needs more than just milk. If never introduced to solid foods, growth will be stunted. And the introduction to solid foods is messy. Its trial and error and begging and pleading, but eventually, the baby figures it out.

“Isn’t it interesting that the same substance required at the beginning of the infant’s life to sustain them can also become harmful if they never grow past it?”

And I guess that’s where I found myself. My salvation and walk with the Lord was predicated on the legacy lived before me. I wanted the easy way through life (I’m sure I’m not the only one). But then life happened and reality struck. I entered high school, and a choice was laid before me. There was no one there to hold my hand or tell me which way to turn. I was on my own. And do you know what I discovered there? Jesus in the waiting.

Even though I had always known of Him, I came to know Him. And the difference in those realities is powerful and eternal. I had always heard of “accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior”, but I began to understand the “personal” and “Lord” part of that on a totally different level. Who I was in Jesus was on me - not my parents, not my legacy. And my proximity to Him throughout my life was my burden to bear; I set the boundaries, and He always respects them. He may knock on the door of my heart, but I am always the one who must choose to answer.

And what a journey it’s been. I am learning that truly thriving with Jesus is letting every breath remind me of His nearness. Truly thriving is bearing fruit in due season because of the hard work that has been done in the dark, lonely places of the winter of the soul. Thriving with Jesus means Psalms 23:4 - not denying the walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but knowing that even though I am there, I am comforted by His rod and His staff. 

Thriving with Jesus means Psalms 23:4 - not denying the walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but knowing that even though I am there, I am comforted by His rod and His staff. 

Life is full of hardship. Trials are numerous. I don’t always want to rejoice when I face trials (because the Bible tells me I will face them, and that I can be grateful when I do. Don’t believe me? Check for yourself: Romans 5:3, 1 Peter 1:6, 1 Peter 4:12-13, John 16:33, Daniel 12:10, James 1:2, James 1:12, 2 Corinthians 1:4, Romans 12:12 just to name a few.) But I am learning that is actually where thriving happens. Not in the mountaintop moments, the highlight reels of life. Thriving happens when we meet Jesus in every moment.

Every. Single. Moment.

Undoubtedly, as I write these words, I am in the darkest valley of the shadow of death I have ever entered. The uncertainties before me are greater and more daunting than any I have ever known. My faith has been tested, tumbled, turned upside down and reconfigured again and again. But here’s what I know: if Jesus meets me in the wildernesses of life with manna, I shall not wish that away in favor of milk and honey alone in the Promised Land. Thriving does not look like having it all figured out. It is not consistent church attendance (though that is an important piece). It is not a family history of Pastors (though to God be the glory). Thriving is living in the place that demands the least amount of self-reliance and the greatest amount of trust that Jesus will be who He has proven Himself to be. And that place is scary, but always proving to be so worth it. Will I see you there? 

Take a moment of reflection on your own journey with Jesus. Where were the seasons you were thriving? Struggling? What contributing factors or patterns do you identify?

Take a moment and reflect on where you are right now, your current POV. Now remove every other person from your perspective. It’s just you and Jesus. How are you? Thriving? Struggling? Lonely? Confused? Hurting? How can encapsulating yourself in Jesus’ arms impact that?