A Different Kind of Miracle

WHEN GOD DOESN’T DO WHAT YOU’D HOPED

When God called my family of five to move to South Africa, it felt like a dream come true. We had prayed, prepared, planned and packed, and we were ready to make the dream a reality. God had confirmed His call many times – we knew we were walking in His will. 

But less than a year in, that dream fell apart.  

My husband has a terminal lung disease and after getting sick again and again, we realized that living in South Africa long-term just wasn’t sustainable.  We packed our bags and flew back to the States – heartbroken and not quite sure what the Lord had for us next.

I was devastated. Confused. Discouraged.  This wasn’t how the story was supposed to go. We had sold our home – everything we owned – with every intention of being in South Africa for the rest of our careers. I wanted to plant roots and live among the South African people I loved so deeply.  Instead, we barely began.

Had we missed God?  Did we hear Him wrong? 

Coming back to the States felt like failure. I wrestled: “Why God?” Why would You lead us to South Africa, only to bring us back so quickly. It felt unfair.

But, Isaiah 55:8 reminds us: “‘My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.”  

Had we missed God? Did we hear him wrong?

Sometimes God performs a different kind of miracle – not the one that we prayed for or we dreamed, but one that turns out to be better than we could’ve ever imagined.

I’ve learned it’s okay to be disappointed.  Actually, I think our disappointment can become a holy place. All throughout Scripture, we see faithful people who grieved when things didn’t go like they thought they would.

I think of Martha in John 11.  Her brother Lazarus had just died, and when Jesus showed up, she said “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:21) There’s heartbreak in those words. Disappointment. Maybe some frustration.

“If only you’d done what I wanted… what I hoped for…” 

If you’ve prayed that prayer before, you’re not alone.

“Sometimes God performs a different kind of miracle – not the one that we prayed for or we dreamed, but one that turns out to be better than we could’ve ever imagined.”

But, what’s beautiful is how Jesus responds. He doesn’t get angry, shame her, or rebuke her.  He meets her in her pain. And then we see that, “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35)

That’s the same Jesus who meets you in your disappointment.  He’s not afraid of your grief – He enters into it with you.  Invite Jesus into your disappointment, and allow it to become a holy place where He draws you closer than ever.

Proverbs 19:21 is a verse that I come back to often: “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.”  I’ve made a lot of my own plans. And I’ve grieved a lot of them. But His purpose – it ALWAYS stands. It’s ALWAYS better. 

God rewrites our stories. He redefines our hope.  Usually, it doesn’t look anything like we imagined. But, I promise you – it’s still good.

When we came back to the U.S., I was heartbroken. I laid in bed for days, in tears. I felt like I had failed. But, the Lord spoke to both my husband and me – separately, but with the same words: “If you can’t go to the ends of the earth with the gospel, the ends of the earth will come to you as international students on the college campus.”

That was nine years ago.

Since then, God has opened doors for us to minister to college students from literally around the world – many from places closed to the gospel.  What I saw as a loss, God used to prepare us for the next season.

It wasn’t a closed door. It was a season of preparation.

The heartbreak became holy. The disappointment became direction.

Now, I get to walk alongside students who have left their families, their friends, everything that’s comfortable to them. And I understand because I’ve done the same. My story helps me connect with theirs.

Looking back, I understand that the real miracle wasn’t our time in South Africa. It was what happened after. 

The heartbreak became holy. The disappointment became direction. And God used us in ways we never would’ve imagined. 

That can be true for you, too.

Your disappointment isn’t wasted. Your heartbreak isn’t the end.

It might just be the start of a different kind of miracle. 

“What would it look like for you to invite Jesus into your disappointment today?”

Lord, thank you that your ways are higher than our ways, your thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Thank you that you see the whole picture and that you lead and guide us in Your perfect wisdom despite what our flesh desires and thinks to be best. Lord, help us to trust you when we find ourselves in circumstances that we didn’t hope for. Open our eyes to the miracles you have for us. Redefine our hope and deepen our faith in You.  In the name of Jesus, Amen.