the ministry of showing up

why presence matters

One of the greatest gifts we can offer another person is presence.  Not advice.  Not answers. Just presence. 

Romans 12:15 instructs us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”  Simple, right?  Well, maybe the rejoicing part.  How fun and easy is it to celebrate something wonderful?  A new job, marriage proposal, precious grandbaby….Woo Hoo!!! 

But what about the mourning?  Not so easy.  In fact, if we’re honest, it can be downright awkward.  It’s probably one of the biggest reasons we hesitate to show up for someone.  When a friend is hurting, struggling, or walking through something heavy, the pressure to “say the right thing” can feel overwhelming. So sometimes… we say nothing at all. We stay back, unsure. 

Here’s the truth, though: your presence matters more than your words. We often assume that helping our friend requires wisdom, solutions, or the perfect words.  But Romans 12:15 reminds us that sometimes the most powerful ministry is simply being there.  It’s the kind of love that just shows up.  It’s the kind of love our friend needs the most at that time.  1 John 3:18 declares, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and truth.”

Here’s the truth, though: your presence matters more than your words. We often assume that helping our friend requires wisdom, solutions, or the perfect words.  But Romans 12:15 reminds us that sometimes the most powerful ministry is simply being there. 

Jesus models this love countless times in the Bible.  He wept with Mary and Martha at Lazarus’ tomb, celebrated weddings, shared meals, and rejoiced in community.  He didn’t avoid people in difficult situations. He moved toward them. He spent time with them. He was present in their pain, their questions, and their everyday lives.  He is our ultimate example of showing up!

Our church has recently begun a grief support ministry for our community, and I have the privilege of being a co-leader. This opportunity came at a time when the Lord was speaking to me about doing something new.  I was nervous but excited…I didn’t know exactly what to expect and was worried I wouldn’t know what to say.  The experience has been transformative, teaching me so much in a short amount of time.  So many heartbreaking losses:  spouses, children, parents, or close friends. Some losses were recent and raw, while others have quietly lingered for years.  I learned people weren’t really expecting answers…they were looking for presence.  Presence that says, “I see you.  I am with you.  You are not alone.”

Who is God inviting you to be present with today?  Someone whose joy needs to be celebrated?  Someone whose pain cannot be fixed, only shared?  Someone who needs less advice and more love?  Remember, you don’t have to know what to say.  You don’t have to make anything better.  You only need to show up.